Supporting Parent Wellbeing and Maintaining Social Support Systems During COVID-19
By Valentina Helo-Villegas, Director of Parent Program and Cristina Matthews, Senior Manager of Parent Wellness Coaching
Month after month since the start of the pandemic, in every interaction with the families we serve, we have had the opportunity to confirm what we’ve known to be true since the start of our program: investing in the wellbeing of parents supports the whole child. And, never before has it been so true that when a parent is well, a child can thrive.
For schools to support the wellness of families in a true partnership – one in which the caregiver is not only in service of the child but is also invited to the table as a whole person with their own dreams, needs, fears, and strengths – is key. And it was the investment in that partnership that allowed us to jump into action the minute our school’s county (San Mateo County in Northern California) was ordered to shelter in place.
Our Parent Wellness Program focused on what was essential and modified our scope to support parents in three key areas:
Respond to and prevent crises: ensure every parent’s housing, food, and medical needs are covered.
Support parents in accessing remote learning: ensure access to WiFi (if needed), develop at-home routines for learning, use new learning materials and platforms, and connect parents with teachers when they encountered roadblocks.
Support with stress management: learn and use tools to reduce stress and help parents maintain a calm mindset so they could problem solve effectively.
Throughout the unplanned changes and disruption caused by the pandemic, we’ve stayed true to our north star: help families keep and nourish the relationships, resilience, and social support networks that allow them to successfully navigate adversity. We worked to ensure that everyone not only had access to essentials like WiFi, food, and housing, but also a space to encourage and tend to their social connections – a key element that has helped them navigate the high levels of stress during a truly challenging time.
The Primary School’s Parent Program offers support and wellness focused on parents
Our Parent Wellness Coaches shifted their monthly in-person parent groups and individual coaching work to weekly, 1:1 remote coaching sessions, during which coaches checked on parents’ wellbeing both as individuals and as caregivers. To successfully connect with parents while remote, our team relied on the trust and familiarity that had been established through the deep, meaningful work done before the pandemic started. This meant that our team could ask direct, hard questions about parent wellbeing, needs, and current challenges, and parents in turn could provide honest responses and get unconditional support back. The result was parent-driven action plans that addressed their very real, day-to-day needs, ranging from new routines at home for the family, to finding respite in practical self-care strategies. Between March and June, an average of 92% of families had coaching calls several times per month.
Amidst the stress and difficult emotions accompanied by the immense loss of livelihoods, impacts to their health, and substantial changes to their everyday routines – none more impactful than becoming full-time co-teachers – our Parent Wellness Coaches also invited parents to reflect on accomplishments and bright spots at home, instead of only focusing on what was hard or could improve. This balanced perspective yielded thoughtful insights about the unique way the pandemic had also brought unexpected moments of positivity, such as more time to be with their children, opportunities to enjoy their relationships with their children in the context of slower-paced routines, increased moments of connection as a whole family, and time to reflect on what was truly needed and important in life. Supporting parents in sifting through the hard moments to find resilience and gratitude increased their ability to navigate the tumultuous nature of the pandemic from a grounded place.
This sense of greater stability was also supported by community partners and our strong relationships with them. When the pandemic began, Parent Wellness Coaches provided critical support for families to navigate and sustainably access essential resources. Coaches also held space to lovingly, yet assertively, challenge feelings of frustration, guilt, or shame that acted as barriers to accessing needed resources.
Parent Wellness Coaches made more than 600 referrals to food, housing, employment, and other community resources from March-November 2020, giving parents a greater ability to focus their attention on at-home learning and keeping their families healthy (in all senses of the word). To do this, coaches leveraged their deep knowledge of community-based, state, and federal resources and partnered with parents to motivate them through the often complex applications and processes for approval. The end result was relief in an area of need and a reminder to parents of the powerful and capable advocates they are for themselves and their families.
Once parents had been stabilized and their immediate needs were properly met, we restarted our parent coaching groups, known as Parent Circles, virtually. This presented a number of new challenges. The primary goal of Parent Circles, which were established at the outset of our program, has been to catalyze the creation of peer support networks. Prior to the pandemic, we were meeting regularly in an in-person, private setting that offered childcare so parents could show up fully. In the new virtual world, all of this changed. Since most of our families live in crowded homes, a prerequisite to restarting Parent Circles involved coaching on how to approach conversations with housemates or family members in order to ask for the appropriate space and time to be fully present. Parents were able to practice clear and assertive communication strategies that allowed them to set boundaries for their self-care. A final logistically important hurdle was ensuring each family had access to a web-enabled device with headphones and that they had the necessary training to use these devices (most of our families have very little exposure and expertise with new technology).
This work paid off: it allowed us to co-create a purposeful virtual space where parents could openly share their challenges, find commonality in their struggle with others, and find opportunities to help and encourage one another. We also doubled down on highly relevant topics such as stress management strategies, social supports, and restoration. We continued to encourage the sharing of resources, tips, and wisdom with each other - something that has been a hallmark of our Parent Circles in the past and that became even more crucial during the pandemic. Parents who had lost their jobs because of the pandemic volunteered to help other parents with their endeavors; others gave tips to find the best food resources in the area, supported each other with child care duties so they could work when needed, and motivated each other to access public benefits that were time-consuming to apply for and attain. An average of 81% of parents attended their Parent Circle each month, 89% of parents found the Circle very useful and on average, 82% of parents reported that they felt less stressed after being together.
Though we have been encouraged by the initial success of our pivot to a virtual Parent Wellness Coaching program, we know that there is more to do to help parents maintain the perseverance and resilience that will be critical for these coming months. We don’t presume to have all the answers, but we hope that other schools and organizations working with parents can find inspiration from our approach supporting parents during this unusual time. Here are the key lessons we have learned that are meaningful going forward:
Embrace a wider view of parents, beyond seeing them in service of their child and instead as an adult with their own needs and dreams.
Foster social connections among parents to let the natural need for community start to take root. Connect the unemployed parent to the parent that is a business owner that is looking for help, call the parent that knows about resources in the community and introduce them to the family that is new to the area, etc.
Understand which federal, state, and local resources are available for families and the respective processes for application and approval.
Fostering and maintaining networks of support has made an exhausting year more bearable. Parents have shared honestly during groups about the losses they experienced due to COVID, unemployment, and even loved ones, allowing other parents to step forward and be held by their community. We saw this play out organically when several members of one of our families tested positive; the immediate reaction of their Parent Circle peers was to sign up to prepare meals for them so that they could simply focus on getting better. This is just one of many powerful examples that showcase how providing the space to build a strong and resilient network leads to thriving communities and families, even in the most difficult of circumstances.
Resources
We hope these resources are helpful for other educators and health practitioners who are looking for ways to support parents and build community among families.