At The Primary School, we play different roles, but we are all responsible for building positive and trusting relationships with our families. We have shared principles to support all of us in building meaningful relationships with our families. We believe it is essential that we experience the same reciprocated principles in every interaction across our community.
Our beliefs about families
Our focus as an organization is on child outcomes. We believe healthy, stable, and empowered families are key to this effort
Parents are the most important people in a child’s life
We define parents, or families, broadly (whoever is key in supporting the child)
All parents want the best for their children
All parents have the strengths, resources and the ability to recover from adversity
All parents are powerful beyond measure and capable of achieving incredible things
A parent is the expert on his/her child, however parents do not know everything about their child.
The Primary School staff will also acquire their own expertise through their relationships with children and families.
A child’s development and growth can be maximized when the adults in their life acknowledge, respect and see value in sharing each other's expertise with each other.
OUR Principles FOR WORKING TOGETHER WITH FAMILIES
We build relationships based on families’ strengths. We take an asset-based approach to engaging with families. We seek to surface family values, abilities, assets, dreams and hopes as the foundation to our interactions. We are aware and also recognize when our families’ realities and past experiences represent barriers and challenges to showing up for themselves, their children, or anybody else.
We create spaces that empower families to lead. We act as thought partners and allow the family to lead their own process. We always hold a coach mindset and are not therapists or case workers. Our place is to support them without imposing, avoiding codependency, and making sure we are not alienating the family from their own process. This may mean that we are extra critical of when our motivations or pace is motivated outside of families’ leadership. We recognize that at times it may seem faster to act or make decisions on behalf of family but know that doing so takes away power from the family owning their decisions and actions and developing internal motivation.
We have high expectations for all parents, but also meet parents where they are. We hold high expectations for all families and children and do not make excuses for why parents and children cannot achieve exceptional things. “Not if but when.”
We address conflict as a natural element of change. We recognize that honest conversations about challenges and areas of growth are difficult, but we believe they are necessary to ensure that each child, their parents, and staff member understands what is required for that child or family member to reach their full potential. We work to understand families’ values and explore the past experiences and beliefs that act as barriers for families to achieve a child’s outcomes and actively support them in working toward overcoming them.
We personalize the parent experience. We try to adapt our programming to the needs and capabilities of each family to make it as effective as possible. For example, some families require more support or time to achieve what some may deem as basic expectations, while others are ready to be leaders.
We build and maintain trust. We don’t assume parents or caregivers trust us, we earn trust and work hard to maintain it. We are aware that parents have different experiences with schools, service providers, and systems and that disappointments may manifest themselves as low interest in building relationships with us. When we see that trust needs to be built or that the family is experiencing extraordinary circumstances, we ask for 50% and are prepared to show that we are committed to showing up fully. “Meet me halfway, I will meet you all the way.”
Parents are active partners in the organization. Parent feedback is deeply valuable. However, while we encourage feedback on all things, parents do not dictate all decisions (e.g., instructional decisions are made by school staff).
We respect each other’s expertise and contributions. Our families are experts on our students; they dedicate their lives to raising and loving our students, and they are experts in their strengths, needs, interests, and struggles. Likewise, staff at The Primary School are professionals who dedicate their work to educating and supporting our students. It is essential that all of us share ownership in student development and wellbeing and show mutual respect and patience for one another’s experiences and expertise.
We navigate relationships with our families with cultural humility and responsiveness. We begin to embrace cultural humility by identifying our own beliefs and biases and work to recognize how they impact judgments that arise during interactions with our families. We do this with the intention of building our capacity to respond in ways that reflect and respect the strengths, needs, values, languages, cultures, and communities of children and families.
We are transparent in our communication and mindful of how we communicate. It is critical that we make every effort to talk transparently with one another, as partners. We communicate clearly, frequently, proactively, and without jargon. We care deeply about communicating with our families and take responsibility for showing up to conversations with families with messaging that can be understood by adults with various educational experiences and of different native languages.
We recognize parents as not only parents but adults and individuals. We know them as people and understand they have identities as adults we need to meet.
We maintain boundaries. While our work goes beyond the bounds or normal schools, we still maintain boundaries of what we will or will not discuss, and what we will or will not do to support a family. To best serve our students, we need to be honest and clear about what we can and cannot provide. We do not make promises we can’t fulfill.
OUR Practices of Family Engagement
Welcome families warmly. Know what name they prefer to be called and greet them by name. Introduce yourself if you do not know them personally.
Be present. Give parents your undivided attention. Ask them about how they are today. Thank them for being an involved part of The Primary School.
Celebrate successes. If you know something about a child’s success, big or small, this week, share it. Let parents know how amazing their children are.
Empathize. Use the 3 F’s of Empathy: Feel, Felt, Found
“I see how you feel that way”
“I feel that it was….”
“I found it was going well…”
Find space to listen. Listen first to what parents have to say and then make sure parents understand they can speak in confidentiality. If there are sensitive conversations, find a quiet and private space to discuss and do not discuss in the open.
Never judge. We focus on observing rather than judging. When we can suspend the “voice of judgement” we can see a situation for what it is rather than what we’re expecting it to be.
Wow our families. We go the extra mile. Let families know how special they are and use creative ways to engage them and keep showing up for them.
Hear feedback and ask for it often. We seek continuous feedback. Even when we might not incorporate feedback, we make sure families know we heard it and give it due consideration.
Share openly with our team, keep confidential with others. Streamline program information & parent communication so we represent one unified voice. Help serve our families better by building a strong, well-informed team. Never discuss parent information with other families.
Recognize and respect family time. Time is a valuable resource for families and we hold a mindset of flexibility. A family member’s time is important. Prepare for meetings. Arrive on time.
Hold a coach mindset. Focus on co-constructing or co-identifying choices rather than prescribing or advising an adult family member.
Remain focused on child outcomes. We respect families and meet them where they are, but always remain focused on what is best for the child. Do not shy away from difficult conversations about a child’s need but engage in them respectfully and openly with families.
Do not share stress and negativity with parents. Toxic energy is contagious. If you are having a bad day, or have concerns about the organization, keep these internally and do not transfer your own negative feelings to families. We represent as one team and always support our colleagues and our families.
Be a positive representative of the organization. Be aware of what is happening across The Primary School and be able to answer a family’s questions. If you do not know the answer, let a family know you will find the answer and get back to them as soon as possible.